To All the Things I Loved Before

WELL, it is day number I-don’t-know-what of #quarantinelife. First and foremost, I’m praying for those who are on the frontlines, going into work everyday and facing the disease head on. I’m praying for those whose lives have been flipped upside down these past few weeks and for those who have been affected themselves or whose loved ones have been affected by the disease. More than ever before, we need to trust that God is faithful through the biggest and scariest storms we face. As we are all trying to navigate life through these uncomfortable and unfamiliar roads in our own way, I just wanted to share my personal experience and thoughts through all of this. 

I remember going into work several weeks ago and my boss telling me to pack up my things and go home. Initially, it came as a shock as I thought I was being let go; thankfully, I was not. *phew* Instead, I was told to move my things home since coronavirus cases were on the rise and this was one of the precautions my company was taking to keep their employees safe. So I packed up my belongings, including my bouncy ball (which I occasionally like to bounce on and destress with lol) and I started my work from home journey for a couple weeks, or so I thought…

I had always wondered what working from home would be like; a new adventure, or so I thought. It has definitely been different and I now know that #WFH is not for me; maybe for a couple days here and there but definitely not an all day every day thing. If you know me, I am NOT a t-shirt and sweats person at all, so the first few days I would attempt to make myself look somewhat nice and presentable. I did my face and hair, and picked out my outfit, and walked to my “office” (aka my sister’s bedroom) which happened to be the least cluttered room in the house to set up shop. However, I quickly realized that working from home while looking nice was pointless, especially when no one can even see you. Now don’t get me wrong, I am a 100% believer in getting dressed up for yourself to make yourself feel great and confident. But I soon realized I really didn’t need to be “confident” in my own home with my parents a few doors down from me. 

*Secret confession time: one of the reasons I wanted to go into corporate is because I LOVE picking out an outfit for the day and getting dressed up. Go ahead, judge me. I used to work in a more clinic setting and had to wear scrubs and I hated it. So I cannot WAIT to get back to my office environment and my cute clothes 😉 

However, I’m incredibly grateful to still be able to work during this time as I know many people have lost their jobs or have been furloughed. I don’t take my current situation for granted by any means. It has also been nice not having to sit in traffic everyday. I’ve found myself so much happier in the mornings now because I’m not having to deal with crazy drivers or slow moving cars. Traffic really puts a damper on your mood, you know?

For those that know me, I’m all about personal growth. So I was very thankful to my company for putting in extra measures for their employees to become better educated while working from home. They are offering virtual classes every week to enhance our skills and make sure we are still stimulating our minds. I’m very proud to be part of a company that puts an emphasis on growth. 

Now, there’s a quote/meme going around that has been somewhat controversial. The premise of the quote is this: “if you don’t come out of this quarantine with a new skill, more knowledge, side hustle, etc. you didn’t lack the time, you lacked discipline.”

Pretty bold statement, and honestly I agree with it to a certain extent. Now before you put up your fences, let me explain why I think it’s a great statement, but also why I think it should come with a disclaimer and/or taken with a grain of salt.

The statement automatically assumes that everyone is dealing with the current pandemic and quarantine in the same way, and nothing could be further from the truth. Like I stated earlier, in the middle of all of this, there are those who are working 12-14 hour shifts, barely getting any sleep to make sure society continues to function. There are those putting themselves on the front lines of the disease in the hospitals, grocery stores, healthcare facilities, etc. There are so many of you out there sacrificing your lives for the community right now and my heart and thanks goes out to all of you.

There are those whose families have been deeply affected in many ways and those whose lives have been turned upside down and may never be the same after all this. There are those who are at home having to juggle taking care of children, spouses, elderly parents, homeschooling, cooking, while at the same time working from home full-time. I cannot begin to imagine what life is like for those individuals and I have immense admiration and appreciation for them. Additionally, with all the stress and anxiety that is associated with a global pandemic and it’s far-reaching effects into our everyday life, everyone copes differently.

So the above mentioned quote is a pretty big generalization. I completely understand that it’s not meant for everybody. Obviously not everyone is in the same boat. There are so MANY different variables in many of our lives right now, to the point that peace of mind seems to be a precious commodity. Stay strong and know I am keeping you all in my prayers and this too shall pass. 

However, if the current quarantine hasn’t really affected your day-to-day life significantly, you are emotionally stable, and you’ve actually found yourself unsure of what to do with this new gift of added time to your life, then I absolutely think the above mentioned quote should, at the very least, serve as motivation. I’m gonna sound like a broken record here, but personal growth is a huge part of my life and I love when I see that in other people as well.

If you have been using your new gift of time to binge-watch on netflix/hulu/Disney+, get on social media for hours a day, sleep in for the majority of the day, constantly say you are bored, then we need to talk. Now, I know there will always be people who are offended at some things, so I promise I don’t write this to be insensitive to the current times. Instead, I hope it serves more as a challenge to you, and honestly, more to myself. 

It’s a difficult time for all of us. Some more than others though. However, the majority of us aren’t in a third world country where we are having to scrounge for food and unaware of where our next meal will come. We may be facing some financial strains, but most of us are safe and sound in our own homes, not living in poor living conditions exposed to the elements.  

My heart truly breaks for the underprivileged during this time; the poor, the marginalized, the ones who may not have the access to the resources and help they so desperately need. I get to live in my home that has internet, TV, electricity, running water, A/C, a heater, a soft bed, a fridge that holds more than enough groceries to last me a few weeks and so much more. I am incredibly privileged and with privilege comes responsibility. 

I want us to think – am I being responsible with my time? What am I doing with it? We all thought we were in control, but now we realize we are very much not. We lived our lives thinking we had all the time in the world to do everything we wanted to, and we’ve put our lives on cruise control.

Don’t live in autopilot.  

The Bible clearly tells us that our time is precious and valuable, but at the same time, very finite. God desires that we use our time wisely.

Psalm 39:4-5  “Show me, Lord, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting my life is. You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Everyone is but a breath, even those who seem secure

Psalms 90:12 Teach us to number our days,that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

Ephesians 5:15-17 Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.

Don’t feel ashamed that you didn’t learn another language, become the next Picasso, or start a profitable side hustle. I don’t believe those to be exactly realistic. Each person has a level of attainability that looks different from another person, depending on time and personal discipline. Don’t compare yourself with someone else, but make the most of what you have available. For those that have more time or discipline than others, you may accomplish more. I’ve personally started looking at different ways I can make the most of my time. To name a few: I’ve been looking into potential side hustles, writing more, trying to read the whole Bible, increasing my skill sets, reading new books, trying out new recipes while improving my cooking skills, and cleaning a drawer or cabinet in my house one room at a time. I can keep going but I won’t due to a lack of writing space.

I also have been working on my own personal discipline for YEARS. If time management and personal discipline is a new concept for you, give yourself grace. Like A LOT of grace. Yes, we are in a world-wide pandemic – but ask yourself this, is it REALLY affecting my ability to do things? Start small. Make bite-size chewable goals. 

I am asking for SMALL WINS. 

If waking up is a win for you because of where you are mentally, then I applaud you.

If you make a good cup of coffee in the morning by yourself, you win.

If you paint your nails and you didn’t get it all over your fingers, you win.

If you donate some extra money to an organization that is helping those in need right now, you win. (By the way, if you are looking for an organization to donate to OneLifetoLove is an AMAZING one or even womenofworth)

If you took a walk today and enjoyed nature, you win.

If you spend some quality time with your family, you win.

If you start a hobby, you win.

If you don’t take more than your share of toilet paper from the grocery store, You really win 😉

Luke 16:10 has been one of my go to verses for years “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.” 

Start with little things. When you are faithful in the little things, God sees that and entrusts you with medium things, then large things and then extra large things… But it starts with SMALL things.

I want you to think about these last few weeks.

What have you done with them? Are you proud of them? Did you waste them?

What would you do better? Did you keep up a routine or schedule?

If you are not keeping a schedule or routine I recommend starting with that.

If you are struggling with keeping a schedule and need help, I would HIGHLY recommend the Passion Planner and they are having a sale right now! It gives you time slots to plan your day out from early in the morning all the way to before you go to bed at night. It may be something you may never have needed before, but now where the days seem to all just mush together, I definitely recommend doing something to get yourself regulated and oriented.

Twenty-one days doing the same thing makes a habit so you don’t want to be creating bad habits during this quarantine. It’s important to be intentional in carving out your NEW NORMAL. Some days are going to be harder than others. This is not a short sprint; it’s a marathon we are living in. Be willing to accept change, it’ll help you accept all this faster and help you bounce back harder.

Again, I’m not telling you to do anything drastic, but I am asking you to just stop and evaluate the last few weeks. Stop MINDLESSLY doing things. Stop saying “I can’t wait for everything to go back to normal”, because honestly it probably won’t be “normal” again for a while. We all keep saying that we can’t wait for things to get back to normal, but I can’t help but wonder what parts of normal would we want to get back to? Maybe  “normal” wasn’t that great to begin with.

We were all so busy with our normal, that we didn’t pay attention to our relationships. There are marriages falling apart right now, parents and children miserable staying in homes together because communication hasn’t been there for years. There are so many things that weren’t great that this quarantine is bringing to light. This quarantine didn’t cause the breakdowns; it is just exposing faulty foundations and now is the time to rebuild those foundations. During this quarantine, I want you to think about what needs to change in your life for the better.

When you are isolated, it makes you think. A lot of the American life that we have been so accustomed to really wasn’t beneficial in many ways. Many of us went to work for 8-10 hours a day, came home exhausted, and then crashed in front of the tv for another couple of hours. We then spend another couple of hours on social media, you eat something probably unhealthy for dinner, and then go to bed, and repeat the same cycle again. Many of us choose a life that is comfortable vs optimal. We are so used to our bad routines and are comfortable with them, we don’t really take the time to see if it’s really beneficial for us.

I think this quarantine gives us the opportunity to really stop and think what things we can live without. Were there things in your life that were actually toxic and now that you’ve had a few weeks without it, your life is actually better? When quarantine life is over what do you what to bring back into your life that you once lived?

I want you to come out of this quarantine BETTER. I want to come out of this quarantine better. I want to be proud that I spent my time wisely, and that doesn’t necessarily mean every day. For example, yesterday I watched Jumanji with my family and ate stuffed crust pizza for dinner and do I regret it? Absolutely not. I needed a “cheat day”. We all do. However, it wouldn’t be called a cheat day if we did it everyday.

So to all the things I loved before, I MISS YOU.

I loved fried chicken, Thai food, ramen, wings, North Indian food, okay fine just eating out in general

I loved shopping at Marshalls for random things

I loved running outside in nature

I loved getting my nails done

I loved meeting with my Bible study group in person

I loved seeing my people, including my fiance

I loved the wedding festivities that I had planned and now sadly probably won’t getting do

BUT, I am realizing now more than ever the reality of Proverbs 16:9 – “We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps” and James 4:14-17 “Now listen, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.’ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, ‘If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.’ As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil.” 

So I am learning to love my new normal and take one day at a time and trusting God through it all. I have never had so much peace in my life and I continue to trust Him in this storm. Because in times of testing you realize where your faith actually is.

So NO:

I don’t miss the noise/ traffic/ hustle & bustle

I don’t miss the events

I don’t miss my jam packed weekends

I don’t miss Netflix and Hulu

I don’t miss mindless scrolling through social media after work

I don’t miss my busyness (ok maybe a little bit)

But NOW:

I love the peace that surpasses all understanding in this storm (Mark 4:35-41)

I love the testing of my faith so I will come out better on the other side of the fire (James 1:2-4)

I love the joy that comes in the morning

I love that the church is finally realizing that it is a body of people and NOT a building

I love that people’s faith foundations are being shaken (did you build on the rock or sand? Matt 7:24-27)

I love that homes are becoming houses of PRAYER like God had originally designed them

I love my new gift of time

I love my slower pace of life

I love my new found love for the word of God

I love that my room is FINALLY getting deep cleaned

I love that I am improving on my cooking and cleaning skills before getting wifed up because let’s be real, he is better at so many things than me 

So to all the things I loved before, I miss you and I hope you will come back soon. But at the same time, I also really love this new normal. I am choosing to get better everyday. I hope those of you who are reading this don’t choose offense but choose responsibility. We are only responsible for our lives and will have to give account to God one day for them. Choose today to be better. I challenge you to be the best YOU CAN BE! Don’t be anyone else. Reach your own personal best. I believe in you and I’m cheering you on! 

Love always,

A Woman of Worth

#Coronavirus #selfimprovement #timemanagement #wisedecisions