The Importance of Words

“Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way. We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth. And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. And among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself. People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! Does a spring of water bubble out with both fresh water and bitter water? Does a fig tree produce olives, or a grapevine produce figs? No, and you can’t draw fresh water from a salty spring.” James‬ ‭3‬:‭2-12‬ NLT

People say actions speak louder than words, but in reality, words have great power over people as well.

Paul says that if we have every kind of knowledge and gift of the spirit but don’t have love, everything is meaningless. James 1:26 says that “if anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.”

If we don’t control our speech, we don’t control any area of our lives. If you are hateful with your tongue, it’s only natural that you are hateful in other areas of your behavior. I’m not talking about just abstaining from saying bad words or cuss words or the like. I’m talking about the way we address people in everyday conversation, like calling your friends stupid or worse. Words stick with people forever.

In middle school, I was a depressed kid. Some of that had to do with names that people called me, saying I was ugly or fat. Once someone insults you about something, it’s hard to forget about it. Every time I looked in the mirror, I was reminded about what other people said to my face. No matter how many times different people told me to stop thinking that, that I was pretty, I could never believe them because the insults held more weight.

There were so many times back then when I cried myself to sleep because I remembered words people have said to me. When we lose control in anger and let our tongues loose and say things we don’t mean, it’s hard for the other person to forget about it. They might forgive you, but those words will always be in the back of their minds. It’s so easy to lose control when we’re angry and say things that we don’t really mean, but what about those times when we’re just teasing or playing around?

We don’t know how our words will affect other people.

Proverbs 18:21 says “the tongue has the power of life AND death” James 3:10 says “out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be!”. Words are weapons, even the careless words. Proverbs 12:18 says “reckless words pierce like a sword” and in Jeremiah 3:8, a tongue is compared to a deadly arrow. James 3:8 says the tongue is full of deadly poison. I know this is hard to do, especially in the South Asian culture where Uncles and Aunties are the most blunt people you’ve ever met. It’s hard to resist saying something back when their words cut you like a knife. But as James says, we must be quick to listen, slow to anger, and slow to speak. Because once we start talking in anger, it’s hard for us to stop. It escalates quickly and gets out of control.

On the other hand, it’s also hard in our culture to encourage people. People are slow to give compliments and horrible at receiving them. Mostly this has to do with remembering the pain of the hurtful words when anyone gives us good words.

But Ephesians 4:29 says “don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” Proverbs 15:4 says that “kind words heal and help; cutting words wound and maim.” It’s all easier said than done though. We have to be vigilant and think before we speak.

Psalm 141:3 says“set a guard over my mouth, O LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips.” Let this be our prayer, that our words come from a place of kindness to help our sisters instead of hurting them. Try to encourage your friend instead of calling them dumb or something similar.

You never know how much your words can impact someone else’s life. ~Jency James