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Loneliness.

It’s painful.. In this season of my life where I should find myself happiest, fulfilled, content, and accomplished, I find myself feeling the loneliest unlike ever before. Starting a whole new chapter by moving to a new city is one of the few reasons I know I feel this way, and I used that reason as an excuse to why I was feeling lonely for the most part. But subconsciously I was looking to other resources to fill my loneliness and the void I felt in my heart. I turned to my new husband to make me happy, I would engage in conversations with my friends over the phone to make me content and fill that void, I would call my parents who live hours away from me to comfort my heart because of how much I miss them. But sooner than later my expectations I had placed in people around me began to fail which led to disappointment and frustration.

I remember during my quiet time with God, I asked Him “this is not what I envisioned my life to look like right now. Why am I here if this is how it was going to turn out?”

I immediately felt God convicting me – I am expecting happiness from people, I am seeking fulfillment from people, I am wanting to be loved and praised by people.

When the primary source of my happiness and fulfillment should and must come from God, My Savior. Duh! RIGHT?!


Unfortunately, like most Christians I tend to easily forget or overlook this simple and obvious concept in various seasons of my life. The following verses came to mind as reminders; Psalm 37:4 “Take delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 20:7 “Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.” Matthew 6:33 “But seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well.”


As I was being reminded of these verses another realization dawned on me; I never acknowledged this verbally to my heavenly father in prayer. I pray and talk to God about other matters but never about my loneliness. Possibly because I didn’t think it was a big deal, or that this feeling will eventually fade away with time, or I thought there is nothing God can do about it. Is He magically going to provide me with a new friend? I am not sure.


But after reading the word, I realized Jesus also related to loneliness as well. The Son of God and Lonely!? YEP. Jesus has felt lonely, not just in the early years of his ministry where he fasted alone, but throughout his ministry he had to dwell in towns outside of main cities alone even when he had disciples following him, and the loneliest of all he must’ve felt when He was crucified on the Cross asking his Father “Why have you forsaken me?” That revelation humbled my frustrated and disappointed heart quickly.


Hebrews 2:18 says “Since he himself has gone through suffering and testing; he is able to help when we are being tested.”


As women, I am aware we go through various seasons in life where we may feel alone, unloved, judged, criticized, etc.; but the verse above makes it known that Jesus our beloved Father himself has gone through it all and has felt all such emotions and more, to where you and I can cling onto him to fulfill us, to bring us joy, and fill our heart with love and contentment. He will NOT disappoint us, and His love will always prevail the darkest of emotions. Feeling lonely whether you are alone or in a room full of people, it can be painful. But I am reminded now more than ever that my true and ultimate companion is Jesus Christ. He is the source of my joy, happiness, and fulfillment.


Through Him I will receive all that my heart longs for like friendships, community, and Christ-centered relationships, and the rest will follow. Next time you feel alone or lonely, I encourage you to take that to the Lord in prayer, He will strengthen you and fill your heart with hope, joy, peace and provide you with wisdom and help you to find new perspective in Him. No prayer is too small or too big for our God.


Love,

A Woman of Worth




 
 
 

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