A Call to Love

She was going to be my best friend, I was sure of it. My mother in law was someone I looked forward to meeting and longed to have a relationship with her. Meeting her for the first time, I was elated. My smile quickly turned into a frown as I quickly realized her disappointment after meeting me.

I wasn’t what she wanted. She waited all my husband’s life to arrange a marriage for her son, only to be disappointed to find out her son chose me be his forever. Over the next few years, I couldn’t understand why she was so bitter. What was wrong with her? I loved him with all my heart. I worked so hard to finish college and worked hard to bring home a paycheck. Why was I not good enough?

It was ongoing. The silent treatment. The lack of communication. I kept telling myself over and over I didn’t deserve this. Days of resentment between us turned into months, and months turned into years. I began focusing on having a good relationship with my father-in-law; seeing him as my second dad and embracing his acceptance for me, all the while, intentionally ignoring my mother-in-law and her bitterness towards me. I would ask myself over and over again why God would allow my lifelong expectations with her to be shattered.

One day, many years later, I passed by our guest room and heard my husband praying. I stopped suddenly to not only see him on his knees but hear his prayer to God for things to be mended between his mom and I. It was at that moment that God really broke me and opened my heart to see and feel the hurt my husband endured not only for days, months but for YEARS. I realized that this broken relationship hurt the person I loved so much more than I could imagine and that was not okay.

It was in that very moment God began to open my eyes to see that this was the mother of my husband I loved so much. Without her, there would be no him. And that was enough reason for me to love her. So I began my journey in letting my resentment go and chose to love her simply because God called me to love her without question.

My mother-in-law sat across from me at my baby shower. She was taking part in a game and began answering questions without looking up. Needless to say, she won that game. It was in that moment, I saw my husband in her. A highly intelligent, classy, competitive and driven individual. I realized how blinded I was by my resentment that I couldn’t see just how much of her was in the man I loved so much.

In John 15:12, it says “My command is this. Love each other as I have loved you”

Here I am today, years later and I whole heartedly love my mother-in-law like my own mom. Is there something that holds you back from loving others? John 15:12 is a reminder that God doesn’t just ask but he commands us to love each other as he has loved us. I hope we can look within ourselves and just do that.

Love,

A Woman of Worth